Sinking Ship

After high school I wanted to leave. Growing up I remember Heidi telling me she couldn't wait to leave Eglon, and I didn't understand. It had been the only home I had known. But by the time I was 18, it no longer felt like home. I now understood her wanting to flee. I just... Continue Reading →

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The Week Before…

I left to join the M/V Anastasis on October 2, 1998. I was 20 years old, and I was petrified. The week before I left for the ship I went on a walk along those Eglon roads, those T-boned crossroads I grew up on. I walked to the beach. I always went to the beach,... Continue Reading →

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War.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XVU1iGPP3aI Watch with caution It was years before I met Africa, that I understood a glimpse of some of the atrocities taking place there. Dorris was a missionary, she and her husband Anthony Sakor had devoted their lives to missionary work. They had met in an orphanage in West Africa as children, and I would... Continue Reading →

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Mount St. Emma

You know when you feel it bubbling under the surface. You realize you are important but you can’t remember why- ? I’ve been dry heaving optimism - But then I start crying. Not so strong - kinda weak. I feel very weak.

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Africa

I was twenty- it was 1998 when I sailed the Atlantic with the M/V Anastasis. I never talked about it. I had shame- I didn’t tell my mom what happened there until two years ago. Twenty two years later- and I only mentioned it- I didn’t talk about it. I only had the courage to... Continue Reading →

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Dumb

dumb [dÉ™m] ADJECTIVE temporarily unable or unwilling to speak:"she stood dumb while he poured out a stream of abuse"synonyms:speechless · tongue-tied · wordless · silent · at a loss for words · voiceless · inarticulate · taciturn · uncommunicative · untalkative · tight-lipped · close-mouthed · saying nothing It's always been the things I haven't been allowed to say out loud that have made me the sickest. I have wanted to speak - but I can't say it out... Continue Reading →

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Optimism

I remember when I was a girl being excited to wake up every morning. It was as if every day was a gift I'd use my sleepy eyelids to open-eager to experience whatever adventures the day would bring. I try to hold onto that passion, for being alive, but I lost it a long time... Continue Reading →

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I stopped….

I already stopped. That's what was going through my head at the expo station. I was trembling. I had just watched this movie, called Hunting Emma... I had already stopped. It was over a long time ago? I just couldn't. Anymore. I had to walk out. I need to get strong, if I want to... Continue Reading →

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1998

I graduated in 1997 - my friends and I were all frightened and delighted by the idea of GOING OUT INTO THE WORLD. The PUGET SOUND HAD MADE A NOISE. I didn't want to go to college - I had always worked. I knew I needed to make money. At sixteen my mom gave me... Continue Reading →

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I UNDERSTAND

I love my boss. She is THE BEST BOSS I have worked for. I hope that someday we workout together again. She is incredible. She fights for US - and we fight for HER. It is hard. We are in a wage war-driven time of consumerism madness....we are in the middle of a crisis, and... Continue Reading →

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Rapid Fire

Burger King has been my employer through these last three tumultuous years. Every year of my forties has been tumultous. A revolving door of today's melting away into yesterday without even a Hope for tomorrow. I have experienced a lack of DESIRE for tomorrow. I resent that I still am. But I am me. Emma.... Continue Reading →

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Kristine

I stood at the register and looked across the counter at the customer I was serving. My boss was at the register just to my left, standing attentive should the person in line be ready to place their order. It had been an off morning, in a string of off months, in what felt like... Continue Reading →

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Life is Biblical

I have had the beautiful opportunity to live in pivotal times – surrounded by sleeping warriors all around me-placed here, on the front lines, in this world in the year 2022. I am turning forty four in two months to the day – and I am glad for my testimony, as flawed, and as raw... Continue Reading →

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The Stars

There was only blackness- And then I opened my eyes. At first everything was blurry. Blackness and lights dancing together, all I knew in that moment, as things came back into focus, was the stars on the canvas of the night sky. I felt peace for a moment, mesmorized by something beautiful. Unaware of anything... Continue Reading →

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Emma

Emma.  Am me.  I am me.  Emma. -MyGhost Speaks

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Last Night

The sky lit up and the clouds roared and grumbled.

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